middle of week 5
things have been crazy busy -- good i suppose. i was just reading through some blogs and came across this. i could not believe it, someone was going through something so similar to me. only she did speak to hers. i'm still not up for initiating contact w/ ex though. i and i'm pretty sure he won't be contacting me. not that we are angry w/ each other, but it must be this way if he is truly to do what he needs to for him, and i for me. the old adage 'love is not enough' couldn't be more true. i think some people think that love is this simple entity - all nice and neat, with crisp edges and defined features. i really is not a static thing, it's active and it encompasses more than what one can say, feel, see, touch or do. there are many books out there that talk about what it does to your body -- a chemical alteration of sorts. saying all this, it's not really that complicated either. once you have the trust and the bond, and you are on the *same* page, the life of love can seem effortless because you know, and they know that they are safe to explore the territory.ahh okay back to what's going on here. still haven't seen or talked to him. was in the hood' last night and nada, though i still walked down the street w/ my heart in my throat. bf from college was planning on coming in today, but looks like that's not going to happen. i'm bummed, but maybe it's a good thing considering the disarray of my room and mind (these are intricately connected for me - clean room, organized head). this weekend i'll take care of that disarray in the room at least. i've been super bad about calling people back this week. i just haven't felt like chatting, and i know my true friends will understand, up to a point. i have a feeling that when i talk to bf she'll give me the a** kicking i need to get back to my 'self'.
happy hump day.
posted by Dancing Diva @ 11:25 AM
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