new diggs and playing
what a whirlwind...the last few days i've been running on empty, but still running. flew to a wedding this weekend, returned and moved. it's a strange feeling, i wasn't in my bed over the weekend and when i returned -- i'm sleeping in completely new surroundings. haven't had a chance to explore the new hood' as i'm busy unpacking. the wedding was amazing -- both of them were ecstatic to be together. i didn't feel sad for a moment, but i'd be lying if i didn't say i missed the ex. not really him being there, i've gotten used to him not attending these kinds of things...but more so realizing that where we were at while we were together, he wasn't able to look at me like that, with wide eyes and a huge smile, ready to embrace the world separately and together. i don't think marriage is about to halves making a whole, it's about 2 wholes riding the waves. i suppose that's where we were not meshing. i was dating him already ready, feeling whole about me and where i may or may not be going...but clearly he wasn't. maybe it was our combination that prevented him from getting there. i can certainly see how much more free and open the possibilities in life are w/ out the drama that we had...not that there was a ton of it, but when it happened it did eclipse the rest of the pie of life so to speak. just random thoughts.i'm still in this mode of wanting this process to be over...i want to have my place all done, furnished and looking and feeling fly, but have a ways to go. just like moving on, just when you think you have you feel that little tug. though the tug is not necessarily a bad thing. i'm feeling more fond than sad. aahhh but that can be dangerous too, i know i can't romanticize that feeling otherwise when i do see him/run into him...it will be so crazy difficult. it will be anyway.
last night after lugging home some essentials... cleaning supplies, water filter, bit of food...i started skipping. wow did that feel awesome...like being a kid. i came across the quote below this morning, maybe it's a reminder that i need to start playing more...
"The great enemy of creativity is fear. When we're fearful, we freeze up...Creativity has a lot to do with a willingness to take risks. Think about how children play. They run around the playground without thinking about where they're going. They trip, they fall down, and then they get back up again and run some more. They have a wonderful belief: that everything will be all right. They feel capable; they let go; they play...Not matter how many facts and figures you have, you can't predict the future. There will always be surprises...Creativity helps us realize that we don't have to understand everything. We can enjoy something - feel it and use it - without ever fully comprehending it." -- Faith Ringgold
posted by Dancing Diva @ 3:19 PM
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