no more numbers
it's friday, but i'm not in that blissful TGIF zone today. heading into weekend 6, it's almost becoming easier to not think of things like this anymore, in terms of week x and weekend x. if i keep gauging everything from "the day we broke up" i'm still holding on to that as a benchmark. and while it worked for a while to feel good, it's really not necessary anymore. i am realizing it does me no good to count, so that's why i am titling this one, the end of numbers and really the beginning of my time fully.time is just so precious to me, and i've managed to be so busy that i've had no time to work on something that i desperately need to do, such as pack. it just sounds so boring, maybe because it is. and i know how emotional it was just cleaning out the 2 closets. looking at what i have left, i think i'm going to further junk-ify this weekend. there are plenty of plans, and things to do, and i'll go and immerse myself in various circles and see what happens. up to this point i think i've physically been there, but not mentally and spiritually. just elsewhere. i used to get so drunk that i would *think* i was fully present, and know full well now that the booze only puts presence further away. and when you sober up, YOU comes at you so much stronger.
still sorting through all my emotions, and i was surprised to get angry for a bit again last night. these bursts of negativity tend to come up when chatting w/ someone about how i'm doing. maybe it's best to stick to not chatting about that w/ old friends and what not. it's funny, it doesn't happen when i'm talking to my daily friends at all. i am turning over so many new leaves it's like a change of season for me completely. it feels foreign, weird and i'm refreshingly clueless.
came across this the other day, good stuff.
posted by Dancing Diva @ 12:26 PM
1 Comments:
Breaking up is hard but it sounds like you have made a lot of progress. When you find that you're no longer counting from the date and that life *is* actually going on, you know that you're finally moving on.
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